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[akashiver]

This book sounds interesting. I'm going to add it to my ever-growing list: The History of White People

Self-Defeating Personalities

So what explains those men and women who repeatedly pursue a path that leads to pain and disappointment? Perhaps there is a hidden psychological reward.

I got a glimpse of it once from another patient, a woman in her early 60s who complained about her ungrateful children and neglectful friends. As she spoke, it was clear she felt that all the major figures in her life had done her wrong. In fact, her status as an injured party afforded her a psychological advantage: she felt morally superior to everyone she felt had mistreated her. This was a role she had no intention of giving up.

As she left my office, she smiled and said, “I don’t expect that you’ll be able to help me.” She was already setting up her next failure: her treatment.


An essay on the mental experience of unemployment: Losing It

I have always had a job. I have always supported myself. Everything I own I purchased with money that I earned. I worked hard. For the 35 years I’ve been an adult, I have had an office to go to and a time to show up there. I’ve always had a place to be, existential gravitas intended. Without work, who was I? I do not mean that my title defined me. What did define me was the simple act of working. The loss of my job triggered a cascade of self-doubt and depression. I felt like a failure. Not that the magazine had failed — that I had.

Comments

[unforth.livejournal.com]

That one on self-defeating personalities is interesting. I've met a few of those kinds of people, and can speak from personal experience that suggesting that maybe some of the problem is their perception and self-defeating attitude is the surest way to get them to stop talking to you...which can be merciful, actually, since who wants to hang out with someone who is always miserable?

[silenceleigh.livejournal.com]

The nice thing about being a writer is that, well, you're never really unemployed. You can always be writing, or organizing your submissions, or emailing your writing friends and asking them about markets, or going on a field trip to do some research, or whatever.

(Maybe that's just me, though. I like having a job, but I've never panicked when I don't.)

[gollumgollum.livejournal.com]

Yeah, the self-defeating personalities one hit a little close to home. (A lot close to home.) It seemed he rarely missed an opportunity to feel wronged.