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Have you hugged your politician today?
Jun. 28th, 2004 04:30 pmFederal Election day, Canada. Today is the day we Canadians pick the crook we hate the least to run our country.
Will we select the hopelessly corrupt party that has run the country for several successive terms (aka the Liberal Party of Canada)? The Weird Canadian Republican Clones (aka a newly minted Conservative party made up of would-be Republicans and frothing fundamentalists. I realize that "Republicans" might well encompass the second term as well, but I like to give them the benefit of the doubt). On the left end of the spectrum, we've got the we're-never-going-to-win-so-we-can-promise-whatever-we-want N.D.P, and their new rivals, the Euro-imported Green party. Just to spice things up we've got the Marxist-Leninists (hey, someone's gotta keep the dream alive) and the Canadian Action party (wacky right-wingers and wacky left-winger's unite)! That's it as far as the headlining parties in my district. Other, more fun districts also get the Bloc Quebecois (elect us so that we can leave this dumb-ass country!), the Rhino party (we will throw banana cream pies at everyone!) the Marijuana party (smoking up solves everything) and the Sunshine-Rainbow party (we run the economy through meditation). There are probably more, but I can't remember them off the top of my head.
And Americans prefer a 2 party system! Ha! Why force yourselves to choose between weasel-chops (John Kerry) and the George i'm-not-incompetent-just-too-dumb-to-do-my-job-oh-fine-i'm-both Bush? Wouldn't you rather make a choice at random and wake up to find that someone's pet rock had been elected President of the United States?
(Oh hold on. I guess that's more or less what happened. Sorry guys.)
It's going to be a close election, because nobody wants to vote for any of the parties. Basically the election will either go to Martin (leader of the we-make-your-tax-dollars-disappear Liberal party) or Harper (leader of the yeah,-we-know-we're-freaky-but-who-else-ya-gonna-vote-for Conservatives). The position of random government catcallers will probably be filled by a mix of Bloc Quebecois and Loony Lefters (Or Righters. We're equal-opportunity up here. as long as you're crazy, you're in).
Oh well. I made my vote. Now let's see which one of them gets the opportunity to screw the country up.
Will we select the hopelessly corrupt party that has run the country for several successive terms (aka the Liberal Party of Canada)? The Weird Canadian Republican Clones (aka a newly minted Conservative party made up of would-be Republicans and frothing fundamentalists. I realize that "Republicans" might well encompass the second term as well, but I like to give them the benefit of the doubt). On the left end of the spectrum, we've got the we're-never-going-to-win-so-we-can-promise-whatever-we-want N.D.P, and their new rivals, the Euro-imported Green party. Just to spice things up we've got the Marxist-Leninists (hey, someone's gotta keep the dream alive) and the Canadian Action party (wacky right-wingers and wacky left-winger's unite)! That's it as far as the headlining parties in my district. Other, more fun districts also get the Bloc Quebecois (elect us so that we can leave this dumb-ass country!), the Rhino party (we will throw banana cream pies at everyone!) the Marijuana party (smoking up solves everything) and the Sunshine-Rainbow party (we run the economy through meditation). There are probably more, but I can't remember them off the top of my head.
And Americans prefer a 2 party system! Ha! Why force yourselves to choose between weasel-chops (John Kerry) and the George i'm-not-incompetent-just-too-dumb-to-do-my-job-oh-fine-i'm-both Bush? Wouldn't you rather make a choice at random and wake up to find that someone's pet rock had been elected President of the United States?
(Oh hold on. I guess that's more or less what happened. Sorry guys.)
It's going to be a close election, because nobody wants to vote for any of the parties. Basically the election will either go to Martin (leader of the we-make-your-tax-dollars-disappear Liberal party) or Harper (leader of the yeah,-we-know-we're-freaky-but-who-else-ya-gonna-vote-for Conservatives). The position of random government catcallers will probably be filled by a mix of Bloc Quebecois and Loony Lefters (Or Righters. We're equal-opportunity up here. as long as you're crazy, you're in).
Oh well. I made my vote. Now let's see which one of them gets the opportunity to screw the country up.
