akashiver | Entertainment News

"Fans"* of 19C African slave narratives will be pleased to know that Twelve Years a Slave is being adapted as a movie.

Fans of The Lone Ranger will be less pleased to know that the movie is on the rocks budget-wise for blowing all its money on CGI werewolves. WEREWOLVES????!!!! Give me a freakin' break. By all means, put werewolves in genre-bending movies like "Pirates." But for Godsake, leave the William Tell Overture alone. If you want Cowboys and Aliens, make Cowboys and Aliens. Don't turn The Lone Ranger into Van Helsing, because you already *have* Van Helsing. What you don't have out in the marketplace right now is The Lone Ranger.

I curse Hollywood and its stupidity! (Yes, this Entertainment News Update is brought to you by me, Pinot Noir and Mad Men. For the record, Don Draper would know better than to put CGI werewolves in this movie. And given Don Draper's terrible judgment, that's saying something.)

More news: Steve Hillard's "Mirkwood' is being adapted. Cue cool plot description here: "The book centers around a fictional version of "The Lord of the Rings" author J.R.R. Tolkien who is hiding secret documents that the forces of evil will do anything to obtain." I am intrigued.

"Drive" and "Bronson" director Nicolas Winding Refn is campaigning for the directing gig on "Wonder Woman." Also: it took everyone on Facebook talking about a certain obituary this week, but Hollywood took notice: the "White Mouse" biopic is being made.

* Not sure what the right word is here.